Chapter Four - Desire Of Your Heart

I have learned emotional hurt is often a choice. We work through differences easily and without ruffling our feathers. Maybe that’s why misunderstanding rarely happens between us.

We don’t talk about other people and what’s going on with them. We just deal with ourselves and things as they relate to us. I don’t have time to be taking other people’s inventory. My own list is long enough and that’s all I have time for. Gossip also tends to deflate friendships. There is a difference between keeping secrets [It is the glory of God to conceal a

matter… (Pr 25:2)] and keeping confidence [Debate your case with your neighbor,and do not disclose the secret to another;lest he who hears it expose your shame, and your reputation be ruined (Pr 25:9-10)]. As a leader’s wife, I’ve seen and heard so much over the years that I instinctively knew had to be kept confidential. Joy confirmed this through her own attitudes and actions.

7. Find a Need and Fill It

Seeing the need lays the groundwork for mentoring. God made our human nature to meet our needs whenever they occur. Whether we are conscious of them or not, we’re looking to meet that need.

When I met Joy, I was attracted to her personality. As our friendship grew, I unconsciously recognized something in her that I needed or wanted. She had a life of wisdom and love. It was what I wanted, and she was willing to share her life with me.

Joy’s spiritual experience and wisdom caused the most phenomenal growth in me as I integrated those same principles in my life. I needed her and she needed me. Jesus said it is the sick who need the doctor. If you don’t acknowledge the need you won’t get the need met. In my 12-step recovery program, service and sponsorship find and fill the need. I mature faster with a

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