Chapter Four - Desire Of Your Heart

anymore, but I didn’t care because my health was gone. Although I never attempted suicide, there were certainly times when I wished I could die.

“I knew Jesus as my Savior, and my relationship with God was one of acceptance and acknowledgement of His existence, though not a spiritually integrated existence with Him. Fortunately, I made the right choice at that time and I said, ‘Just give me a Bible and all I’m going to do is sit down and read this Bible. I’m going to understand what the story of Calvary is all about, what the resurrection of Jesus means to me, and what the essence of all this is.’

“For the first time in my life, I pulled out the Bible and started reading the New Testament from the very beginning. I was not working, and every day was a struggle getting out of bed, dealing with the meds and hoping my heartbeat would be in the correct fashion that day. I would simply read and study Scripture from an objective and historical perspective rather than from any ethereal or mythological perspective. I dove in and started digging, and there was a real purity that I found to the message.

“There was no longer anything about my own perspective, a Catholic perspective, any other religious perspective—it was simply the objective historical perspective. The more I studied it, the realer it became. Sometimes you may hear someone speak about a spiritual epiphany or some kind of spiritual event that changed their lives. And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, That I will pour out of My Spirit on all flesh; Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, Your young men shall see visions, Your old men shall dream dreams (Ac 2:17).

I had experiences and revelations during my journey through intense biblical study that were objective, physical miracles that could never be explained empirically by any scientific method. These were things I experienced that could not be explained any other way than by something beyond this world.”

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