Chapter Four - Desire Of Your Heart

In Brother Lawrence’s book, The Practice of the Presence of God, he reflects, “What should we set as the ultimate goal in this life? The answer: The most perfect worshipers of God we can possibly be, like we hope for ourselves throughout eternity.”

Ever since Joy can remember, she just loved and worshipped God as did her mother. She reflected, “I had no one to talk to about the things my stepfather had done to me. We didn’t talk about private affairs outside the family. But my mother couldn’t help me—she didn’t know how to help me. I learned this in many areas of my life: that God really is my only Source, and as I look to Him, I learn to hear His voice—I hear it inside of me, in my spirit. It is confirmed by my spirit, and I know this is God. It may not always be the way that is easiest for me to go, but it is the way I must go in order to fulfill God’s purpose in my life.

“I never resented my mother’s situation. God, I know, helped me to understand her situation because we were both part of a situation that neither one of us could do anything about. I know a lot of children resent their mother, but I never did. My mother and I always had a wonderful understanding about things.

“After my daddy died, I learned to read my mother’s expressions and understand her heart. I knew there were some things she had no control over, and I knew her heart was with me. When I was 15 she took me to Bible college to leave me there, but I didn’t want to stay. My mother understood my cry, and she was not angry or mean with me. I felt such compassion in her because she was in the same bondage I was in, and there was not one thing we could do. We had to look to God.”

The absence of love and belonging created inside Joy a craving to heal the hurt in other people. She wanted to give to others what she knew she needed. Born into a family that loved Jesus, she treasured the memory of the unconditional love lavished by her parents when she was

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