Chapter Four - Desire Of Your Heart

one step away. So often in my 12-step recovery I have heard some of the most spiritually mature people I have ever known say, “It takes just the right mix of circumstance to bring me back down to Ground Zero.”

Forgiveness is a process that includes feeling the pain of the offense, acknowledging it, and letting it go so that it loses its power over me. If I don’t let go of the anger I have toward someone, I am giving my power to them. Joy gave me permission to have my feelings. They are what enabled me to learn to complete the process and then let go. I cease to feel resentment against the person; I forgive the person, not the evil.

Each of us has our own program of forgiveness. Don already knew how to forgive, knew what he wanted, and had plenty of reason to forgive. “If you had asked me to talk about anything in the process I’ve gone through in the last six years, I probably wouldn’t say that forgiveness is an issue. I cannot remember when I didn’t forgive.

“I cannot say to you that I had a moment when I realized I was unforgiving I needed to forgive. I had to apply the principle daily, but I don’t think I ever came to the point where I thought my life was out of control because I couldn’t forgive these people and events.

“I had moments of extreme hurt, pain, and isolation. I was in Australia in 1999 teaching at some conferences. I’d been there for five or six weeks. After 16 or 17 years spent speaking in Australia, I had pretty much become accustomed to driving on the other side of the road. I had borrowed a car from a very good pastor friend of mine, and when I came over a hill in Melbourne, I had a horrible accident.

“All I remember about the wreck is hitting a semi-truck, and then when I came to I was prostrate on the very top of the car. I had obviously gotten out of the car and climbed on the roof. A truck driver woke me up saying, ‘Mate, are you OK?’

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