Chapter Four - Desire Of Your Heart

“‘Yes, I think so.’ There were some glass cuts, but that was about it; however, the car was totaled—a brand new car.

“‘How did I get on top of the car?’

“‘You were lying on top of this car praying for God to heal the car because it belonged to your best friend.’ A few minutes later, I sat in the car filling out a police report, then I actually drove to the Chinese Coalition of Believers in Australia. Within two hours of the accident, I taught at a very large conference.

“Through that accident, the Lord told me my life was going to crash, but I would be spared. My mind flashed back to my prostrate form praying on top of the car when the truck driver said, ‘The car’s not gonna to make it, Mate, but you’re gonna make it.’ That was the Word of the Lord to me.

“The words of this crazy Australian truck driver, whom I don’t know and haven’t met since, rang clear, ‘The car’s not gonna make it, but you are.’ I remembered those words returning from Australia. Within a few months my wife moved out, I resigned my ministry, and my son was in the hospital with multiple surgeries. I spent the holidays in ICU with my son who was very ill.

“He went into a rehab home for quite a while, but he eventually died. During this time, a moment of healing and forgiveness occurred. After the divorce, my wife and her fiancé (the man she became involved with) asked forgiveness of my older son and me. We forgave to them, so there were moments of forgiveness during that time.

“I had been in ministry almost 25 years, but during the six months in the hospital only one pastor visited me. After my son’s death, I confronted my friends with my feelings of abandonment. They shared some things with me that they wished I had done better. Again, there

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