Chapter Four - Desire Of Your Heart

alcohol, sex, shopping, sports activities, even church activities may be motivated by an attempt to fill a void that only God can complete. Had I acted on it, my misplaced desire would have become misspent. What I truly want more than anything else is God’s Will over my way.

And I believe what He wants for me are loving, healthy relationships with my husband, family, and friends regardless of any accompanying storms. But if that’s what I really want, I must work for it. But what I always need is Jesus to fill the void regardless of my want. The beautiful mystery and meaning of it all is that when I am back abiding in the Vine, my need becomes my want and I am satisfied.

Zach had it all. Tall, dark, and handsome, he was a successful doctor with a beautiful girlfriend, plenty of friends, fast cars, and a taste for adventure. He loved the Lord, went to church once in a while, and kept a Bible near his bed. In 1996 he felt a funny feeling in his chest—like his heart was skipping beats. Then it passed.

Less than a year later in the fall of 1997, Zach woke up at 2:00 a.m., his bed soaked with sweat, his heart racing at almost 200 beats per minute. He could no longer deny what lay before him. The diagnosis came back as lone arterial fibrillation, a very rare and untreatable heart condition.

“At that time” said Zach, “There was essentially no cure for the disease. I was absolutely healthy otherwise. Some people with this disease will have an episode once to twice a year, but it was happening to me multiple times during the week. It was completely debilitating and sent me into a significant depression.

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