Chapter Three - Seeing God In Our Friendships

wasn’t—it was support that strengthened her to compete and win. She was relying on my belief in her.

“It’s funny that God would use something so seemingly benign. It seemed like pretty normal family support to me, but I suppose God spoke in some way that was audible only to her. Going from the depths of despair Tuesday night to total disbelief and elation Saturday night, this young lady decided to take her life back. Even though she was victimized, she was not going to be a victim. She was the victor.”

Hilary intuitively knew she was safe with her aunt. Jennifer gave her the encouragement she needed to overcome so much in such a short time and be who God meant her to be. Hilary needed Jennifer and Jennifer needed Hilary to fulfill God’s call in their lives. Hilary’s win was a victory for them both.

Love, wisdom, and communication need to flow freely both ways. Joy knew I needed her and Joy needed to be needed. We felt safe with each other, respected each other’s value systems, and knew we would fill each other’s needs. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs* is a basic psychological profile of the order in which our human needs are met. Our basic needs must be filled before our aesthetic needs can be developed. Jesus knew this, and it is why He healed the sick and fed the hungry first. Then He could save our souls.

Although I disagree with Maslow’s premise that humans are basically trustworthy, I do agree with his idea that humans tend toward growth and love. The five levels, starting at the bottom, are physiology, safety, love, esteem, and self-actualization. God used Joy to meet my basic needs so I could self-actualize by becoming who He meant me to be.

* Abraham Maslow first published his well-know “Hierarchy of Needs” in his book Motivation and Personality (1943). More information can be found online at

2:41 pm