Chapter Three - Seeing God In Our Friendships

Joy and I have both reaped rich rewards. We talk about anything and everything for endless amounts of time. Time stands still when we are together. We send each other little thoughtful notes and gifts, sometimes big and beautiful, sometimes little and meaningful.

What you feed grows. We both fed and nurtured this outstanding and wonderful friendship. We both put good boundaries around our relationship—boundaries of mutual respect, confidentiality, trust, and understanding.

Like good counseling, mentoring doesn’t tell you what to do. Rather, it offers the framework or principles which will bring about the best possible outcome. Mentoring’s premise is wisdom, which when preceding action means everything will turn out OK. It gives me the confidence to believe it will be alright.

If I give you a fish when you’re hungry, you will be filled for the day. If I teach you how to fish, you will eat for life. Joy taught me how to fish so I could eat for life. If she had always been telling me what to do, I’d only be able to eat for the day.

We’ve always had a lot of fun being together. Sometimes I wonder I if she counts the number of times I’ve told the same story over again like she does.

I was an open and willing questioner and listener, and Joy was a willing and available counselor and confidant. I don’t think either one of us was conscious about it. It was just a natural consequence of our friendship.

The way Joy listened then and still listens now is a gift passed down to her from her mother. Joy learned from her mother that listening feels like love. Her mother listened to Joy and Joy knew it. If something became a burden in her heart, she knew she could tell her mother without any fear of judgment or condemnation.

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